Owning Who You Are

If you are not speaking your truth, whose are you speaking?

It is not easy to fully own yourself in a world that constantly tries to shape and define you. From the moment we are born, we are influenced by society, family, and the expectations of others. We are handed down traditions, rules, and norms that we are often expected to follow without question. In this process, we can easily lose touch with our authentic selves.

For most of us, we don't truly know who we are at the core. We don't have an innate understanding of our values, beliefs, and desires. Instead, we often live by the standards set by those around us, creating a disconnect between who we think we are and who we really are. This inner conflict can cause immense confusion and can lead to feelings of unhappiness, pain, and anxiety. Yet, some individuals become tired of living this way. They grow uncomfortable with the dissonance and begin searching for a way to break free from the pressure of external influences. They start to ask themselves: What is my truth? Who am I really?

As Matt Kahn beautifully puts it:
“Owning who you are is a roadmap of relief for those yearning for authentic self-acceptance and long-lasting emotional freedom.”

Owning who you are means aligning with your deepest values and beliefs, regardless of the external pressures. It is about embracing the truth of who you are and finding peace in that understanding. Owning yourself is not about fitting into someone else's mold—it's about creating your own, living according to your own authentic compass, and honoring what feels true to you.

So how do you begin the journey of owning yourself in a world that constantly tries to pull you in different directions? Here are some simple steps that can lead to profound changes:

1. Forgive yourself and don't be hard on yourself.
   It's easy to be your own harshest critic, but true self-ownership starts with compassion. Recognize that you did the best you could with the knowledge and resources you had at the time. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate your growth, understanding that mistakes and imperfections are part of the human experience. Self-compassion is key to finding peace with who you are.

2. Don’t compare yourself to others.
   The only comparison that truly matters is the one between who you were yesterday and who you want to be tomorrow. Constantly comparing yourself to others will only distract you from your own journey and create unnecessary self-doubt. Understand that everyone is on their own unique path, and your worth is not defined by how you measure up to someone else.

3. Set boundaries.
   Remember, “No” is a full sentence. Boundaries are vital in protecting your energy and maintaining your well-being. You have the right to say no to anything that doesn’t align with your values or doesn’t serve your highest good. By setting clear boundaries, you honor your needs and reinforce your commitment to your own truth.

4. Follow your heart.
   What brings you joy? What makes you feel truly alive? These are the guiding questions that help you reconnect with your authentic self. Pay attention to what excites you, what lights up your soul. When you follow your heart, you begin to uncover your true desires and passions, which can lead you toward a life of fulfillment. When you feel the pull of your heart, trust it—it’s a beacon guiding you back to yourself.

5. Be present.
   The past is behind you, and the future is unknown. All we truly have is the present moment. Our memories, lessons, and experiences shape who we are, but they do not define us. The future is merely a projection based on our past experiences and the information we've gathered. By staying present, you free yourself from the weight of the past and the uncertainty of the future. Embrace the now, and you’ll find the clarity to move forward with purpose and intention.

Owning who you are means accepting yourself fully—acknowledging both your strengths and your weaknesses. It means setting your own standards for happiness and success, free from the expectations of others. It’s about finding peace with yourself, cultivating self-trust, and being in alignment with your true essence.

There is incredible joy to be found when your thoughts, words, and actions are in harmony. When you live authentically, there is no conflict between who you are on the inside and how you express yourself on the outside. This alignment brings peace, freedom, and the ability to move through life with confidence and grace.

When you stop seeking approval from others and start honoring your own truth, you step into a space of immense personal power. You become free to create, to express, and to live fully as who you are, unapologetically.